When “no” is the wisest word in the room

EVERY time a rape case breaks into the headlines, a whole country starts arguing about sex, power and whom to believe.The names and details change, but the argument never does. At the centre of these cases is the question of whether a person’s “no” is recognised as a no. Sometimes a “no” is said plainly.Sometimes it is communicated through withdrawal, fear, hesitation or through words such as“I’m tired,”“ I have a headache”“Not tonight”“Please stop.”At other times, no valid consent is possible because the person lacks the capacity to give it. Yet too often, some men choose to hear a yes where there is only a no.Careers have collapsed, famili…